Anger Management

Anger is part of our emotional portfolio. We need it to alert us to act and, if used constructively, motivates us to find solutions to our problems. If one thinks about it, there is always something in one's environment that has triggered angry feelings. Notice, when something in your environment makes you feel frustrated or cross, even if it’s a small thing. Ignoring how something makes one feel, especially the emotion of anger, if stored, will develop into an explosion of emotion that could have been avoided. Suppressing anger or ignoring it is known to lead to stress related illnesses, depression and physical symptoms such as headaches and digestive problems.

Anger is an emotional response not a rational one and can damage all aspects of our lives – work, friendships, health, relationships and peace of mind. 

 

Most of us will come across situations in life that provoke anger – the answer is to take responsibility for our own feelings, actions and behaviours and learn to respond rather than to react to the people or events that we feel have triggered our anger. 

 

Anger interferes with our reasoning powers. Don’t let it build up until you have a violent outburst which is destructive. It is better to deal with anger in a constructive way. Generally, we begin to feel signs of anger when we do not feel heard or understood. We get angry when someone or something in our environment disempowers us. We use anger to establish a defence to gain our power back and over do it when we respond without thinking often saying things we don't mean. 

 

Dealing with the first signs of anger begins with awareness: 

  • Recognise the warning signals in your body that alert you to angry feelings, perhaps changes in your breathing and body temperature, clenched fists or teeth, the need to shout or if you experience a burning feeling in your chest, throat or head.

  • Remove yourself from the situation if you can. This will give you time to gather your thoughts and apply deep breathing techniques to settle anger down rather than react and have regrets.

  • Learn to identify your triggers; the things that make you angry – what is it that triggers your anger? Are they things you can control (how you communicate, how you behave  or are they out of your control (Politics, Global Warming, other people's behaviour... What else?)

  • Learning new ways to respond to these triggers will take practice. Ask yourself – who is in control; does the anger control you or can you be in charge?

  • Talking things through helps you to organise your thoughts, relieves stress, helps you to recognise your triggers and think about a different approach.

  • If you can recognise your triggers and respond rather than react, then you are taking responsibility for your emotions and you are in charge.

  • Don’t become the victim of the triggers that set off your temper, remember that you have choices when confronted with a problem. You just have to give yourself a chance to think them through before you react.

  • Develop better communication and listening skills. Be open to other people’s needs and points of view.

  • Learn to express yourself calmly and keep cool even when the other person is angry. Remember you have a right to feel heard as well.

  • Learn strategies for keeping calm: Strategies are ways to defuse the trigger such as taking time out in an argument. You may want to imagine that you are part of special forces called in to defuse an anger bomb or something like that to help you take time out before you allow it to explode.

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Anxiety

Self Esteem

Depression

Anger Management

Simone Gridelli

Counselling & Supervision

Mobile : +44 (0)7934 401031

Email   : Counselling@gridelli.co.uk

Warfield Green,

Bracknell

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